My friend Jed Eckhart doesn't miss the pollen while he is London. I don't know why. With out the yellow pollen covering the ground, cars, porches, and streets how would I know where I have been. When I sit down in my front porch chair, how will people know that it is my seat unless I leave a yellow ass print in the chair? How will I find my way home without my yellow footprints left on the street to guide me home? (Hansel and Grettle wished they had pollen instead of bread crumbs). How will I know the my car is dirty if people don't write it on the back of my car because it is covered in Pollen? Without the pollen I would not know that it is fucking hot outside and Georgia's Summer is coming and coming quick.
The pollen lets us know that the days of sweating uncontrollable is coming and the mosquitos will soon be here to buzz around our ears. Pollen is a sign of good things too. The runny nose to make us soooo attractive to the guys in the Highlands and my eyes that seem to never stop tearing are here to stay for another month. Without pollen I wouldn't appreciate my inner beauty, since right now I look like shit because of it. (thank goodness for mom who bought me Claritin D). I thank you pollen for showing up. Pollen means spring is really here and I will be tan once again. Don't forget to bring two towels to the pool. One to lay on and one to wipe the pollen off the chair before you lay on it.
Cheers to pollen. You know you miss it JED!
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
I don't see dead people anymore
I have had a restful four days. I owe it all to alcohol and oh yeah...no dead people!!! I finished all my papers and the only thing left is finals. No prob. Looking forward to the weekend and final four fun times. I will let y'all know as soon as I find out what I am doing next. You are all going to love me anyways.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Last day
Well what the hell do I do now? My last day is done. Nothing extradinary happened. Any suggestions?
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Last Week
Well this is the last week for my internship. I know all five of you will be disappointed when there are no more gruesome stories to tell, but you also had to know it would come to an end. This week was actually pretty slow. Normally I would be upset, but I have 3 huge papers due by Saturday so this was a great time for me to catch up. Finally someone was looking out for me.
We did have a sad day on Tuesday. 3 children. I found out one of my old friends was having their baby that day. It made me worry a little. I wanted to call and give them a list of everything they should not do. Things that I have seen to keep their new little one safe. I held back and did not, only so they could enjoy their day and not immediately panic.
We did have a sad day on Tuesday. 3 children. I found out one of my old friends was having their baby that day. It made me worry a little. I wanted to call and give them a list of everything they should not do. Things that I have seen to keep their new little one safe. I held back and did not, only so they could enjoy their day and not immediately panic.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Why do I like what I do?
I do enjoy being apart of the criminal justice "system", but what I see at the moment is my coworkers breaking down and not wanting to help people anymore. Why is it that so many idiots find their way into our field. They do and they thrive. IDIOTS everywhere. Unfortunately they are the ones in charge of solving the crimes of this great state.
Uh we have a woman here who seems to have been getting ready for a shower and her panties are off. Our concern is that her front door was not locked when we entered. We think someone killed her.
Oh really so if I take a shower with my front door unlocked and I happen to die then someone killed me? Coroner's need to get their shit together and realize some people don't always lock their doors. Heaven forbid! IDIOTS
I am taking Friday off to gear up for St. Patty's Day. Hopefully I won't end up in the morgue. More deaths occur over holidays. Good luck to all of y'all at surviving that.
Uh we have a woman here who seems to have been getting ready for a shower and her panties are off. Our concern is that her front door was not locked when we entered. We think someone killed her.
Oh really so if I take a shower with my front door unlocked and I happen to die then someone killed me? Coroner's need to get their shit together and realize some people don't always lock their doors. Heaven forbid! IDIOTS
I am taking Friday off to gear up for St. Patty's Day. Hopefully I won't end up in the morgue. More deaths occur over holidays. Good luck to all of y'all at surviving that.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Day 29, 30,31
We had a lot to do this because well this state sucks! They are working them like mules. Oh well since there are only 4 investigators total it is just catch up and survive. Nothing intersting or new. Just work. Sorry I am boring this week. I have huge term paper due next week and I don't really care if you know anything gory at the moment.
Get over it Banks!!!!
Get over it Banks!!!!
Sunday, March 11, 2007
I went to Prison
Okay Mr. Banks, here is your new posting.
I went to the state prison on Friday. If you are ever thinking of being bad, just go visit the prison and decide then if you willing to accept that as your new home. The prison was the female prison. I was walking with a couple of male colleagues and one said "the place is full of ugly". If the girls were ever pretty before they got here the pretty was diffinately beaten out of them. The ones who were able to receive packages from there family with make up and personal items were able to clean themselves up, but not too much because then you become somebody's bitch.
Okay we first walked around the grounds. It was amazing the discipline these ladies had when the warden or an officer or anyone passed. They had to stop immediately and stand on the closest yellow line. Basically they followed the "yellow brick road" to all their destinations. It was immediate and they did not move until we passed. They even had to stand in straight lines to smoke.
When we went into the dorms the guards and prisoners screamed "lock it up", which means stop what you are doing and go to your room and stand neatly next to your bed. They followed these rules but SO did not want to. When we were protected by the walls and they could Look at US through the glass windows they all stared and tried to talk to anyone who would pay attention. A friend of mine joked that they would protect me if something happened, after this I joked that they would need my protection, because these girls wanted some johnson and anyone's would do. AND these women were ready to attack. They held back of course because I am a tough bitch.
Anyways, we then went to the gym were they were all letting off some steam and stopped everything they were doing so we could walk in. Many of the girls were staring at the black girls in our group. They had googely eyes and were a little crazy looking. It was a little frightening.
Afterwards we went to the medic hall. They were about 20 ladies waiting to see a doctor or nurse. The warden walked out first away from the girls. When she was out of ear range the prisoners then laid into the black girls in our group that were all dressed up. They were screaming ghetto slurs and racist things at them. They didn't say anything to me, because like I said I am a tough bitch, or because I was so dressed down that I almost looked like them. Anyways it was the first sign that these ladies are truly like animals at times. It was not a sight to see.
Of all the things I just know I could not go to the bathroom in front of these ladies. I would hate it. I could not survive in prison. I am too pretty for it!
(Kiss it Banks!)
I went to the state prison on Friday. If you are ever thinking of being bad, just go visit the prison and decide then if you willing to accept that as your new home. The prison was the female prison. I was walking with a couple of male colleagues and one said "the place is full of ugly". If the girls were ever pretty before they got here the pretty was diffinately beaten out of them. The ones who were able to receive packages from there family with make up and personal items were able to clean themselves up, but not too much because then you become somebody's bitch.
Okay we first walked around the grounds. It was amazing the discipline these ladies had when the warden or an officer or anyone passed. They had to stop immediately and stand on the closest yellow line. Basically they followed the "yellow brick road" to all their destinations. It was immediate and they did not move until we passed. They even had to stand in straight lines to smoke.
When we went into the dorms the guards and prisoners screamed "lock it up", which means stop what you are doing and go to your room and stand neatly next to your bed. They followed these rules but SO did not want to. When we were protected by the walls and they could Look at US through the glass windows they all stared and tried to talk to anyone who would pay attention. A friend of mine joked that they would protect me if something happened, after this I joked that they would need my protection, because these girls wanted some johnson and anyone's would do. AND these women were ready to attack. They held back of course because I am a tough bitch.
Anyways, we then went to the gym were they were all letting off some steam and stopped everything they were doing so we could walk in. Many of the girls were staring at the black girls in our group. They had googely eyes and were a little crazy looking. It was a little frightening.
Afterwards we went to the medic hall. They were about 20 ladies waiting to see a doctor or nurse. The warden walked out first away from the girls. When she was out of ear range the prisoners then laid into the black girls in our group that were all dressed up. They were screaming ghetto slurs and racist things at them. They didn't say anything to me, because like I said I am a tough bitch, or because I was so dressed down that I almost looked like them. Anyways it was the first sign that these ladies are truly like animals at times. It was not a sight to see.
Of all the things I just know I could not go to the bathroom in front of these ladies. I would hate it. I could not survive in prison. I am too pretty for it!
(Kiss it Banks!)
Thursday, March 8, 2007
I do apologize
I have recently discovered that someone else other than my mother reads this blog. I do apologize for leaving you guys out. I know you live to look up my blog everyday and read about the morbid new cases I see each day. Just so you know my internship ends in two weeks. I am sure I will find more to talk about, but until then I will keep all five of you posted on the great cases that come my way.
But unfortunately I will not be in there anymore this week. I will be going to the state prison on Friday and I will reveal all the dirty details that I have to leave out in my "other" cases. There are some sick fuckers out there and my guess is that some are in our prison. Sick Fuckers here I come!
But unfortunately I will not be in there anymore this week. I will be going to the state prison on Friday and I will reveal all the dirty details that I have to leave out in my "other" cases. There are some sick fuckers out there and my guess is that some are in our prison. Sick Fuckers here I come!
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Day 26,27,28
Okay so, since my mother is the only one who reads this and she has been out of town, I have been lazy on my postings. But I will catch back up now.
Day 28: Today was boring and I don't remember much except that we were lucky to only have four bodies. Sadly two were babies. I won't say it again, but damnit people stop sleeping in the same bed as there baby. Bad very bad
Day 29: I was working in the morgue, helping with the autopsies. Nothing crazy, they were just short handed and needed some lifting help. Lifting of the body, lifting of the organs, lifting of the crap. And most dead people do poop. Overdoses and people who are literally scared shitless. Dirty work but somebody has to do it, so enter the intern. It was not bad but very smelly and dirty. I immediately went home and showered.
Day 30: My internship is looking up. We had great cases in today. Two homicides and one unknown. One guy was a gun shot to the head. Everything seemed straight forward, but upon examination of his stomach content we discovered some unexpecting things. "Balloons" filled with stuff. I do not know what the stuff was but he had 8 total in his body. Just sad that they need to do this in order to make a living. It was exciting though. Loved it. The other was a stab victim. Can't say much more or I will have to kill you.
Day 28: Today was boring and I don't remember much except that we were lucky to only have four bodies. Sadly two were babies. I won't say it again, but damnit people stop sleeping in the same bed as there baby. Bad very bad
Day 29: I was working in the morgue, helping with the autopsies. Nothing crazy, they were just short handed and needed some lifting help. Lifting of the body, lifting of the organs, lifting of the crap. And most dead people do poop. Overdoses and people who are literally scared shitless. Dirty work but somebody has to do it, so enter the intern. It was not bad but very smelly and dirty. I immediately went home and showered.
Day 30: My internship is looking up. We had great cases in today. Two homicides and one unknown. One guy was a gun shot to the head. Everything seemed straight forward, but upon examination of his stomach content we discovered some unexpecting things. "Balloons" filled with stuff. I do not know what the stuff was but he had 8 total in his body. Just sad that they need to do this in order to make a living. It was exciting though. Loved it. The other was a stab victim. Can't say much more or I will have to kill you.
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